I am the worst blogger. Some many wonderful blogs out there where the host keeps sending updates sometimes even on a daily basis. I barely manage once a year. Please forgive me.
Speaking of forgiveness, to my tribe I wish a Shana Tova! To all of my friends and family, I apologize for any pain, discomfort, anger and/or any and all misdeeds I may have done. One thing about this covid lifestyle, I don’t see enough people to piss too many off!
So, there were several big changes around here, but I’ll start with some of the smaller ones. My cancer kind of goes up and down, we switch medications every now and then (though I’m kind of getting to the end of the line) and keep scanning me every three months or so. Some days I’m in pain, other days just lazy. One of the cats has found I’m a pretty consistent napping spot.
Doug has been having more problems and hasn’t been able to walk the dog in months. He’s going to PT hoping to improve his balance and strengthen his arthritic ankle. He’s so anxious to get out and do stuff and gets frustrated when his body won’t agree. This getting old really sucks!
Here's the shocker, we found out in December that Doug was adopted. For 76 years no one told him. We had no clue. A while ago a DNA test we took came back 48% Finnish and listed all these Finnish names as distant relatives. Well, you know there were Jews in Finland we supposed. Or maybe there was some mix-up at the lab. After about a year, as I was struggling to find some of his father’s relatives, we did another companies’ test. This one come back 50% Finnish, and Polish, Scotch-Irish and Canadian Maritime Arcadian. Huh, how could this be… and more confusing there was a woman who was matched so close she had to be an aunt or half-sister. I contacted her to ask how could she be related to my husband… after looking everything over she concluded that it’s very possible her father might have fathered a child before he married her mother. This still didn’t make sense, Doug’s mother would never have had an affair, and she not Finnish. We called his cousin who is about five years older than Doug and asked if “by any chance could Doug have been adopted?” She got quiet on the phone and then answered “yes.” OMG, at 76 years old the floor to Doug’s entire life just collapsed under his feet. We had no inkling that Sylvia and Artie were not his biological parents. Seems his cousins found out as teenagers but were sworn to secrecy, for some old world reason his grandmother didn’t want any one to know. I must say I was pretty impress his entire family were able to keep this secrete. If it were my family, it would have slipped out long ago.
To shorten the story somewhat, With the help of my new “sister-in-law” we were able to track down a maternal half sister and learn the story about his biological mother. Doug went from being an only child to having two brothers and three sisters on his father’s side and two sister’s on his mother’s side. We’ve been in touch with a sister on both sides and they are wonderful. They are excited to have a big brother and welcomed him with open arms.
We don’t know the circumstances of his conception but suspect his biological father, Joe, was a few days away from being shipped out for D-Day when he hurt his back and instead spent several months in the hospital. His biological mother was twenty years old and my have meet Joe preparing to go off to war. Hilma, his biological mother, had had a very difficult life. She was the youngest of five children, her family were immigrants from Finland. She broke her back as a young child and then contracted TB from drinking goats milk at a neighbor’s farm. She was sent to a sanatorium for around five years and came home not speaking the language of the parents any more. When she was ready for high school, there wasn’t one in her small town in Massachusetts, so she had to go live with a family in another town as a mother’s helper. She was very smart and got good grades. She also was a very talented artist. She got a job drawing greeting cards. When she became with child, she was sent to the Bronx, NY where her older brother lived. There she delivered her baby boy and gave him up for adoption. knowing her was going to a nice, well off Jewish couple. Sylvia and Artie weren’t well off, but they did adore their baby boy.
Here is what we surmised. Doug always said he was named for the doctor who treated his father’s varicose veins, a Dr, Douglas Smiley. Well, I looked up and the head of OBGYN at the Bronx Hospital was a Dr, Smiley and his son, Dr. Douglas Smiley was listed as on staff. Doug’s parents had tried for ten years to have a baby so one of the Dr. Smileys must have know them and their plight. Then he has this young woman who has a fine baby she needs to give up. I can only imagine the absolute joy Sylvia must have felt as this beautiful baby boy was placed into her arms.
We have zoomed once with his paternal sister and his maternal sister and cousin. They were so anxious to hear about Doug’s life and about him! Doug was thrilled to hear about them and about their parents. I must say if we had to find relatives we didn’t know about, we hit the jack pot! There are all so very nice and caring. The maternal sister had known her mother had given a baby boy for adoption, but never in her wildest dreams did she think she’d ever meet him. She told us about her mother life both before and after he was born, and she seems like an amazing person and a very talented artist. So that talent came out in our daughter, and I finally found out where my son got his nose. It never looked like anyone else’s in my family or Doug’s, but there it was, on a picture of Hilma and on her great-grandson!
I think Doug is still processing all of this. I am also getting used to my little old Jewish man being a little old Finnish man!
The kids are doing well. Henry still works on a government job as a contractor. Every year a couple of months before the new fiscal year his project is put on hold, and he can focus on his hobbies at the SCA. Besides his fighting, he is sort of an apprentice to a chef and cooks for feasts and works on preparing other medieval foods and recipes. He also makes mead, sourcrout, and mustards. He also tried to help me deal with much of my ever growing paperwork and with things needed around the house when he comes home to visit.
Sarah started a job this fall working for a placement agency from home. She is working for her old boss and loves the fact that once the day is over, she doesn’t have to deal with anything after 5 pm. Then she is free to work on her freelance art or she comes over here and gardens. She planted a lot of bee and butterfly friendly plants and gave us lots of pretty flowers to look at. She also planted several hot pepper plants that I leave to them to enjoy.
Sarah has become more involved in our medical affairs and keeps a tab on us. We enjoy her coming over to supper and just spending time with us.
There are no significant others or grandchildren to report sadly.
So, our lives right now are pretty boring, and I suppose it will continue so for a while longer. However, I really wonder if we’ll really change our lifestyle once the covid fears subside. I mean, staying home together, watching some great tv series, napping, being sat on by our animals and going out only to doctor’s appointments and to have groceries simply put into the trunk of our car, it aint so bad…
